Perhaps it was the way I am brought up. I like things to be perfect and going the way I expect it to go... I remember there was this time I was doing a project in school.. I think that was when I was in Primary 3... yeah.. like kids.. everyone was playing and laughing and joking and no one was serious with the work (we had to build a fairly large model).. I remember getting so pissed I cried cox I dont understand why they are just not set out to work on a "perfect" project to be submitted... I ended up packing up and telling them I will just do ALL the work for them (which they happily accepted! haha! which kid doesnt wanna play MORE and NOT DO ANY WORK?)

that was me when I was younger.. haha.. silly right?

Along the way.. I realise that everything need not be that perfect after all.. maybe it was a book i read or something.. i realise the importance of pulling everyone together in a group to produce something.. suddenly.. the results doesnt matter anymore (ya.. my secondary results were HORRIBLE).. it became more like trying to bring out the strengths of each individual.. more like I wanna be proud to say "THIS is a project WE ALL worked together on..."

then it was JC... goodness.. i dont realli remember doing much projects.. or I think dont have leh.. haha! 2 years just kindda whizzed past... maybe ya.. we did tried to bring out the laziness in each of us.. slacking and skipping lessons and what not rubbish..

Then it was NS.. I guess I was back to my secondary school memtality.. but good thing.. I had good buddies around.. not like my bedside buddy.. im sorry but he just kindda pissed me off time and again.. haha.. strangely.. those I am closer with are not even from my barracks.. haha! and yeah.. we worked hard.. helpping each other along the way and I am proud to say WE DID IT together and the bunch of us went to command school... amazing right? but I had high expectations of myself and when I fall short of it.. i get uber upset.. haha... (my 2.4 run still cmi but bo bian le.. too old to chiong le..)

Then came uni... certain projects I do were awesome.. some were just okay~~~ dont wanna talk abt it.. haha.. grades suddenly kindda become important again (maybe cox i wanna do well for projects and can slack abit for exams? haha!) but more so choosing the right project mates... 13 weeks for each sem is too short to "bring out the best in a individual" but I TRY la.. most of the time is just abt getting the job done and bye~ (dont even know if we will see each other ever again in school..) but i still have high expectations of every project I do... wat happens when it falls short? emm.. fight fire loh.. and like wat i tell all my friends.. your project can be like no substance one.. BUT you MUST believe in it and give a convinencing presentation.. that will buy the audience over... =) (dont come ^$&!*& me if you dont agree with me.. i dont give a shit.. muhaha!)

okay.. lengthy post.. but I think everyone's expectations of things they untake or experience changes along the way... and sadly.. the higher the expecations... the worst the disappointment when things dont go your way.. (you may ask why so self-centered right? why must always go your way? and not other people's way? well.. think.. then that will be called OTHER PEOPLE's expectation.. not YOUR expectation..) yes... we do learn to compromise at times.. but the ending result might just still fall short of your expectations...

what abt having no expectations at all? solve all problems right? then will not have heartaches also wat.. good loh.. go ahead.. guarantee more shit will come.. things will not be done and you will end up nowhere...

then how?!

Have expectations --> If it falls short --> Give and take --> Close one eye --> Close 2 if needed --> Smile --> Move on.

One day I will become so jaded, I will say "I dont give a damn anymore".